Correction 351.5 and unsolicited therapy
2005-05-31, 8:14 p.m.
Thank you C-dog for noticing I am mathematically challenged. Maybe it just felt longer than 351.5 hours. Dually noted, my mother was here for a mere 351.5 hours. I will also update with the fact she has not spoken to me since the morning she left. I�ve even left her v.mail since then. No response. Welcome to the wonderful world of my family or what�s left of it.
Today marks 120 days of being officially single again. I added this calculation up more than once just to be sure. So if I over calculated my mothers visit stating it was because it felt longer than that. Would I have under calculated this figure because it feels as if it were just yesterday I was a married girl?
I had a thought the other day that left me wondering what, if any is the right answer. Here goes. When you commit to someone in marriage it�s for better or worse, till death do you part, or at least that�s what you signed up for right? Well then is it okay to decide to reneg on that commitment for any reason? I agree that if you are getting the stuffing knocked out of you, it�s legit to leave the relationship. But if it�s just irreconcilable differences, or the fact you just don�t communicate is that reason enough to call it quits? I�m split, on the decision. Part of me says no, you made your bed now you lie in it. Part of me says, why live life unhappy, making everyone else unhappy, cash in your chips and move to the next table. I obviously went with plan B and now I�m feeling guilty on the topic. So I�m throwing it out there for anyone who might want to comment.
And as I sit here pondering the past and looking at the future, I realize that I still have commitment issues. I still suck at communicating. I generally give up, call it quits, or run and hide when faced and feeling cornered with either commitment, or communicating my feelings on the topic. Put me in a professional environment, and I have zero problems communicating what I need, expect, want, and will get out of a situation. Turn that scenario around to my personal life, and I can�t communicate worth crap-o-la. Anyone want to comment on that? Hey asking the general public to comment on this stuff is obviously cheaper than therapy even if I do have health care coverage.
Finally, I used to always say that my ex and I would face the communication gap in cycles. Usually it was �quarterly� Every 4 months. Recently I�ve discovered this occurring again in other areas of my life and I�m trying to tie it to something maybe lunar or solar.
Hope everyone had a fantastic holiday weekend!
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