Rocky Starts
2006-01-05, 3:23 p.m.
This morning I was running late. Mental note 6pack of corona on a work night is not such a good idea. Of course to make matters worse I was having one of those �my ass is too big for my jeans moments�. Additional mental note start drinking light beer. Next thing you know I�m trying on several other outfits until I�m satisfied my large ass is camouflaged successfully.
I grab my daily menagerie of crap to take to work including 1 large commuter cup-o-joe. Somewhere a couple miles from my house and between 3rd and 4th gear I decide to start enjoying my coffee and that�s when it hits me. Who knew that coffee could double as a nice little accessory to any outfit? Thank god I use a ton of � and � in my coffee. The burns would be difficult to explain since I have a doctor�s appointment tomorrow. Ummmm, yeah Dr. SoandSo; really I�m not into kinky sex games I swear it�s coffee now can I have my birth control refill?
If things couldn�t get any worse, the owner of our company showed up for a little surprise �hey I�m in town.� Visit. Neat!
Dear Cosmic God of Disaster, whatever I have done to bestow your undivided attention I humbly beg for forgiveness. I freaking can�t take much more of this treatment.
In other news, I�ve inadvertently discovered utilizing my thong undies as unique calling cards could have advantages. Red ones for hotties. Pink ones for not so hot, but has some redeeming quality. Black for those bad boys that have zero qualities except the ones your mother warned you about. Now layering them under my skirt could be a challenge, but I could always start carrying a larger handbag. Oh the possibilities.
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